HA HA HA

I realized how boring this day is and as I was going through my Facebook page, I opened one of my notes which had a compilation of corny jokes. Ewww. But I love them, anyway. 


This post is dedicated to them =)) 

Question and Answer

1. What's the fatest book?
-- Tambook

2. What's smaller than a mountain?
-- Moun-nine

3. Unsa'y isda nga na ligsan?
-- Fishlat

4. Unsa'y baboy nga na lisgsan?
-- Pigsat

5. Ano ang sabi ng kaliwang kilay sa kanan na kilay?
-- Sabi ni kaliwa, "wassup, bro [BROW]"?

6. Anong sinabi nung isda nung nahati siya sa dalawa?
-- I'm Tuna

7. Unsa'y prutas nga puti?
-- Eh di, putito!

8. Unsa'y mas puti sa putito?
-- Eh di, mash putito

9. Kinsa'y head sa mga putito?
-- Eh di, putito chiefs [chips]

10. Unsa'y plural sa rice?
-- Extra rice

11. Kinsa ang inahan ni Mon?
-- Mamon

12. What does a dog say when it sits on sandpaper?
-- Ruff!

13. Why did the tomato turn red?
-- Because it saw the salad dressing!

14. What is the most dangerous plant?
-- A nuclear power plant!

15. Why did the teacher [MS DUMDUM :)] wear sunglasses to class?
-- Because her students were to bright!

16. Who is so strong that he can stop a speeding car with one hand?
-- Citom

17. What do drivers love to watch?
-- CARtoons!

18. What do cows do when they're bored?
-- Go to the MOOOvies

19. Why was 6 afraid of 7?
-- Because 7 8 9!

20. Why did Piglet look in the toilet?
-- He was looking for Pooh.



LINES

21. "Noodle! Noodle!" - Pacquiao sa Deal or No Deal

22. Birds of the same feather... Make a good feather duster!



CORNY PICK-UP LINES

23. Papulis kita!
-- Ninakaw mo kasi ang puso ko <3

24. I forgot your name...
-- Can i call you mine? <3

25. I lost my number..
-- Can i have yours? [Haha]

26. I think there's something wrong with my eyes..
-- Because I can't take them off you.

27. Did you just fart?
-- 'Cuz you just blew me away

28. Aren't you tired?
-- Because you’ve been running through my mind all day

29. Are you a dictionary?
-- 'Cuz you add meaning into my life

30. Are you insane?
-- 'Cuz you're driving me crazy

31. Do you have a map?
-- I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

32. Are you a magnet?
-- Coz I'm attracted to you

33. Did it hurt?
-- When you fell from heaven?

34. Hindi tayo tao. Hindi tayo hayop.
-- Kasi bagay tayo!

35. Are you a keyboard?
-- Type kasi kita



ONE-LINER :))

36. Kung didiretsuhin ko ba ang daan na ito... Tutuloy ba 'to sa puso mo?

37. You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me. [Ohmyghad!]

38. If you were a tear drop, I would never cry for the fear of losing you.

39. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.

40. You must be the reason for global warming because you’re hot. [Hahahaha!]




DICTIONARY (http://www.pinaslink.com/view/77443-englishtagalog+dictionary)

1) Contemplate - kulang ang mga pinggan
2) Punctuation - pera para maka-enrol
3) Ice Buko - nagtatanong kung ayos na ang buhok
4) Tenacious - sapatos na pang tennis
5) Calculator - tawagan kita mamaya
6) Devastation - sakayan ng bus
7) Protestant - Tindahan ng prutas
8) Statue - Ikaw ba yan?
9) Tissue - Ikaw nga!
10) Predicate - Pakawalan mo ang pusa
11) Dedicate - Pinatay ang pusa
12) Aspect - Pantusok o pandurog ng yelo
13) Deduct - Ang pato
14) Defeat - Ang paa
15) Detail - Ang buntot
16) Deposit - Gripo
17) City - Bago mag-utso; A number to follow 6
18) Cattle - Doon nakatila ang Hali at Leyna
19) Persuading - Unang Kasal
20) Depress - Ang nagkasal sa PERSUADING
22) Defense - Ginamit ng mga pangsulat sa kontrata sa PERSUADING
23) It Depends - Kainin mo ang bakod
24) Shampoo - Bago mag-labing-isha (11)
25) Delusion - Maluwang (kapag maluwang ang damit, eh DELUSION)
26) Delivery - Walang bayad. Kapag working lunch, eh DELIVERY na ang tanghalian
27) Profit - Patunayan mo
28) Balance Sheet - What comes out after eating a balance diet
29) Backlog - bacon saka egg
30) Beehive - magpakatino ka
31) CD-ROM - tingnan mo ang kwarto
32) Debug - ang ipis
33) Defrag - ang palaka
34) Defense - ang bakod
35) Defer - ang balahibo
36) Deflate - ang plato
37) Detest - ang eksamin
38) Devalue - 'yon ang susunod sa letrang V
39) Devote - ang boto
40) Dilemma - brownout AH!
41) Effort - 'dun nagla-land ang efflane
42) Forums - apat na kwarto
43) July - nagsinungaling ka ba?
44) Liturgy - what comes after litur F
45) Thesis - ito ay..
Description: https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/proxy/AVvXsEgh6ABR_Zv9LwFFjcpSggf5oA0a4jIBlDD84AU-6HDeuw-z8OIH051bOUJpxu0CZsuyl7Fl4-s4igT1tDgA9zPW6d8JaZa7L2hJCgBg9KL1g55w60lC-hwPPyq2sgEHIL418xhTRbxIMp3wgkw6CouhJUpZiyAcULrAOYzY4iya00C3PP3z8Enr2lGPIDUJdpxC_YG3ghRCd6UZ1_NgV5ii=
HAHAHAHAHAHA
  
I'll prolly add some more if I figure out more. :)

Comments

  1. Manilyn Sapilan10/21/10, 11:20 AM

    37. You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me. [Ohmyghad!] - HAHA! THE BEST ONE!
    ---
    Oh dear Lord, what happened to Janna? So random. So weird. HAHAHA! And why did you put Shaq sa end?! REALLY? HAHA! Bitaw, this post made me laugh. But I laughed at you-know-what more! HAHAHA!

    Sorry, Jan. Might be "spamming" your blog. I just can't help but comment! :)

    ReplyDelete

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